March 4, 2021 –
The Art of Listening
Research shows how we spend 80 percent of our waking time communicating. The typical communication pattern is broken down the following way:
- 45% Listening*
- 30% Speaking
- 16% reading
- 9% Writing
* “Listening does not mean simply maintaining a polite silence while you are rehearsing in your mind the speech you are going to make the next time you can grab a conversational opening.” — Dr. S.I. Hayekawa
Things We Worry About
“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” — anon
Things that never happen 40%
Things that can’t be changed by all the worry in the world 35%
Things that turn out better than expected 15%
Petty, useless worries 8%
Legitimate worries 2%
Four Reactions to Problems
These problems are easy to solve. An example of this type of situation is represented by a disappointment with your personal prayer life. When you commit to pray, pray. If the problem is important to you, you solve the problem by acting.
These problems are important but beyond your control. The problem is real, and you aren’t able to influence the outcome. Investigate to determine if there is anything to do to bring a part of the problem under your control.
To spend effort or to worry about this type of problem is wasteful and nonproductive. The outcome of these problems has little impact on your life, and the result is out of your control.
These are the problems most individuals spend (waste) their time on. Often you can solve these problems with little effort, but they offer a feeling of relief when you complete the task. This “psychic” value offers very little long-term sense of wellbeing.